How do I learn to say no?
Learn to say no by setting values and aspirations. Use them to decide when to say ‘yes’. Refuse with compassion, helpfully and positively.
4 min readJan 2, 2020
My immediate response to this question is to ask whether or not I should say no at all. As we leave the Christmas holiday season, I reflect on the number of ‘asks’ that have come our way in the last few weeks.
- Requests to donate to charity from the doorstep to the internet
- Invitations to go to this gathering or that
- Requests from business colleagues wanting to clear their own decks before the holiday
- Appeals for help with village Christmas and New Year events
- Requests for lifts to and collections from
- And many more…
Most of the time, we answered in the affirmative. However, it was often through gritted teeth. We sensed we were put upon in the name of a celebration that has lost its true meaning.
When not to say no
I wouldn’t say I like saying no. It goes against the grain because, at its heart, it is negative. To say no has an insidious negative impact on those who do, as well as disappointing those who ask. And, besides, we live in…
